John of Endor

"Give me the memory and the hatred that make you sick and let me put love in your heart!" (...) The man, head bowed, weeps, without anything betraying his tears. Only Jesus, who walks beside him, sees it." (GRM 188.4)

Named Felix at birth, a proselyte of Cypriot origin (Cintium), he is the only son of a Jewish woman who dies shortly after giving birth to him.

He kills his unfaithful wife ("that unfortunate woman who was my wife, and whom I killed") and loses an eye when killing her Roman lover. Sentenced to life forced labor in Anatolia (Turkey), he earns the trust of the guard through his knowledge of herbal medicine and escapes after twenty years. He lives for fifteen years in Endor where he raises chickens. It is in this setting that he meets, as a supplier of eggs and chickens, Publius Quintilianus, a Roman favorable to Jesus.

His conversion

Felix meets Jesus when he visits Endor with the apostles at the request of Judas Iscariot to see the "witch's cave." He is asked to be a guide, and that is when he exchanges about his life with Jesus.

Because of his painful past, he no longer believes in love, and is sarcastic on the subject:

"No, man! Don't talk like that!" Jesus puts his hand on his shoulder, truly and visibly distressed.

The man looks at him with his single eye, and what he sees in that Face gentle and very sweet face leaves him speechless and changes his expression. From sarcasm, he moves to profound seriousness and then to a true sadness. He lowers his head and then asks, in a transformed voice: "Who are you?"

"... I didn't know you were good with everyone... even with the murderers... Forgive what I said to you... about God and love... "Now I understand why you want to give me love... Because without love, the world is a hell, and You, Messiah, want to make it a paradise."

"A paradise in every heart. Give me the memory and the hatred that make you ill and let me put love in your heart!" (...) The man, head bowed, weeps, without anything betraying his tears. Only Jesus, who walks beside him, sees it. Yes, he sees it. But he says nothing more."

A little later, with his face "reddened by tears," he says:

"Jesus... I think that in order to have the strength to speak, to (...) change myself; to evoke my dead soul (...), I must say your Name, sweet as your gaze, holy as your voice. You have given me a new life and it is shapeless, weak like that of a newborn whose birth was difficult. It still struggles in the embraces of a foul water. Help me out of my death."
"Yes, friend."

"I... I have understood that there is still a bit of humanity in my heart. I am not completely a beast, and I can still love and be loved, forgive and be forgiven. Your love, your love that is forgiveness teaches me that. Isn't it true?" - "Yes, friend."

"Then... take me with You. I was called Felix! Irony!" "But You, give me a new name. Let the past be truly dead. I will follow you like a stray dog who finally finds a master. I will be your slave, if you want. But do not leave me alone..."

"John" is the new name Jesus gives to Felix:

"A name dear to me: John. For you are the grace the Lord makes."

Character and appearance

Aged 60/65, one-eyed with a guttural voice. He completely renounces his past to follow Jesus, leaves his goods and house to the poor and leaves Endor taking with him only clothes, some books, and a little money:

"I no longer have a house. I will leave to the poor what I have. Give me only your love and some bread."

He uses this money to offer a feast of roasted lambs to the famished peasants of Doras.

Apostolic journey

John joins the group of Disciples.
Because of his past, Jesus calls him to works of mercy:

"In what have you sinned? Against Mercy and Love. It is with hatred that you demolished your soul. It is with love and mercy that you will rebuild it. I give you the materials. I will employ you especially for works of mercy and love. You are capable of healing. You are able to speak. With that, you are apt to heal physical and moral infirmities, and you have the power to do it".

Very cultured, he notes down some of Jesus' discourses to serve as a tutor to Marjiam.
Accused as a fugitive prisoner by Judas Iscariot at the Temple, his strength waning and heart torn at the idea of being separated from Jesus, he has to take refuge in Antioch of Syria (Antigonea) in one of the houses owned by Lazarus of Bethany, son of Theophilus, governor of Syria.

In this trial, John can fortunately rely on Syntyche. He who hated Women after the betrayal of his wife, developed a genuine affection for her.

With Syntyche, a fugitive slave pursued like him, he lays the foundations of the Christian community of Antioch. In accordance with his promise, the spirit of Jesus visits him every night.

He converts Nicolaus, the proselyte who becomes one of the first deacons of the nascent church. Exhausted and ill, he dies there quickly in early June 29, receiving in spirit the visit of Jesus. Facing his sufferings, Syntyche writes to Jesus and to the apostles: "out of compassion, I prayed to the Eternal to call him to Peace. He said to him: 'To freedom'."

During the appearance of the resurrected Jesus to Syntyche, He confirms the fate reserved in Heaven for John of Endor: "He is happy. He only remembers love and lives in it".

His name

Felix means in Latin "Happy". John means "the Eternal has done grace, has been favorable".

Where is he mentioned in the work?

GRM 188 GRM 189 GRM 190 GRM 191 GRM 192 GRM 193 GRM 194 GRM 195 GRM 196 GRM 197 GRM 198 GRM 199

GRM 200 GRM 201 GRM 202 GRM 203 GRM 205 GRM 206 GRM 206 GRM 210 GRM 249 GRM 250 GRM 251 GRM 252 GRM 253 GRM 254 GRM 255 GRM 256 GRM 260 GRM 261 GRM 262 GRM 275 GRM 276 GRM 277 GRM 278 GRM 280 GRM 281 GRM 282 GRM 285 GRM 286 GRM 287 GRM 289 GRM 290 GRM 293 GRM 294 GRM 295 GRM 296

GRM 302 GRM 303 GRM 304 GRM 306 GRM 307 GRM 310 GRM 311 GRM 312 GRM 313 GRM 314 GRM 315 GRM 316 GRM 318 GRM 319 GRM 320 GRM 321 GRM 322 GRM 323 GRM 324 GRM 336 GRM 355 GRM 364 GRM 365 GRM 366 GRM 384

GRM 427 GRM 440 GRM 461 GRM 492 GRM 496 GRM 497

GRM 632

Notes and references

Note: Quotations from the work of Maria Valtorta on this page currently use machine-translated text and will gradually be replaced by the official English translation. Until then, the official translation may be consulted through the reference link provided with each quotation.

The Gospel as Revealed to Me (Maria Valtorta).

Person of non-Israelite origin who renounces their beliefs to join Judaism.